i have already read half of "Pointers in Business Law" hahaha
well there's a half to go..like 300 pages
another one is the tax reviewer.
i still haven't had a copy of the Internal Revenue Code..
i don't like reading about tax laws
it was not really taught that well in class
i still haven't studied for my auditing theory class tomorrow
i hope i won't get called.
if i do then it's just not my lucky day.
Good luck to me.

Money blues again.
i hate it
it sucks.
big time

come to think of it i hate how the world values money
even the course I'm majoring in deals with conserving money
good luck

i just do not know anymore.
i need to get a job
well there's no easy way to things

oh sure i can get married
and leave all the financial problems to my husband..haha
i guess I'm just not that kind of girl
who leaves all the hard work to the men :P

every weed can be a flower..
it is never too late for anything..

something i just heard that helped me through the day

my life is full of complications.
i can't help it
i want to breakdown
but i know i just can't
i need to do something
go somewhere
just to relax and think of everything
i need to decide on what i really want

the day before my last semester in school

well i'm almost leaving and closing this chapter of my life
as a student.. what will become of me after i graduate?
will i get married?
will i pass the board exams?
will i get pregnant? lol
will i land a job?
will i be happy?
i hope i'll be happy and content
i hope i'll make the right decisions
i hope i'll atleast make the decisions worthy to be chosen..
i hope i'll finally decide what i want, what i need, what i deserve
but how am i to know what's the right decision from the wrong one?
but how am i to find out if what i chose is for the better?
i have had enough of choosing what's right
sometimes i just want to break free
i want to choose the things that feel right
but sometimes feeling right doesn't equate to the right things
its not really sometimes but oftentimes or always
here i go again playing with words that sound the same
maybe i get something out of bringing out all the synonyms of one word
or maybe its just my style of writing
or i just love synonyms?
hahaha...i am going crazy
it's just that i am fearing the unknown..
the inevitable
i need to get out of my comfort zone
faith will push me out of this
one of these days
i know..whether i like it or not
whether i'm ready to move on or not
life will step in and make a choice for me
and so once again i become a mere spectator of my life
letting things happen to me for i did not act on them
when i still could make a choice
what a major bummer
why do i write in phrases?
that i don't know
but i like to do so
maybe because i don't want to divulge everything here
i am still leaving some things for myself
what for?
to protect myself from being hurt again
i got to close again for comfort
that kiss i remember
that touch
his face
and so i am at it again
he does not treat me right
but still i persist
i am so stubborn
and so this will be my downfall
he is my ultimate downfall

Letting go

this is just something i want to save..
just in case ako ma-delete haha
wlay but-anay ;p

There are people who can walk away from you and
hear me when I tell you this: When people walk
away from you, let them walk.I don't want you to
try to talk to that person to stay with you, love you,
call you, care about you, come to see you, stay
attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When
people walk away from you, let them walk. Your
destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible
said that, they came out from us that it might be
made manifest that they were not for us. For had
they been of us, no doubt they would have
continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to
you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't
make them stay. Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it
just means that their part in the story is over. And
you've got to know when people's part in your story
is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the
dead. You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you
something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the
tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not
that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know
whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to
me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay. Let them go.

If you are holding on to something that doesn't
belong to you and was never intended for your life,
Then you need to...
LET IT GO.

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...
LET IT GO.
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and
See your worth...
LET IT GO.

If someone has angered you...
LET IT GO.
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and
revenge...
LET IT GO.
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or
addiction...
LET IT GO.
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets
your needs or talents...
LET IT GO.
If you have a bad attitude...
LET IT GO.
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel
better...
LET IT GO.
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to
take you to a new level in Him...
LET IT GO.

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken
relationship...
LET IT GO.
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even
try to help themselves...

LET IT GO.
If you're feeling depressed and stressed...
LET IT GO.
If there is a particular situation that you are so
used to handling yourself and God is saying "take
your hands off of it," then you need to...
LET IT GO.

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.
GOD is doing new things for the present.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines - Pablo Neruda

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example,'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voide. Her bright body. Her inifinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my sould is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

One Art - Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master;

so many things seem filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.



Lose something every day. Accept the fluster

of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.



Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where it was you meant

to travel. None of these will bring disaster.



I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or

next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.



I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.



--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture

I love) I shan't have lied.  It's evident

the art of losing's not too hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

the day after halloween

the usual..woke up late
woke up due to the sound of the alarm clock
that was strategically placed by my nephew
near my ears to wake me up
played with the PS2
tinkered with my cellphone
watched pirates of the Caribbean 3 for the 3rd time..
i must be aiming for a record here
still haven't studied for the board exams
that i'm sure to take
what am i doing?
i really don't know
am i still making sense at all?
even to myself..i think i am not
this may be due to the fact that
i have been spending my time with young boys
who have no care in the world
except for playing 24/7

halloween

a week of no classes equates to most of the people as a week of rest
but as for me its a different story
i have a different story to tell
to each his own..
that is what is always said
these thoughts i keep on suppressing seem to win me over
every once in a while
i better detach myself from this lucidity
and find my stability..
if i ever did reach that point

the title doesn't say anything about this post..
its just the time of day..or rather the occasion.
what am i doing with my life?
am i putting my time into waste or
am i spending it wisely?
that i cannot answer for now..
maybe in 10 years
when i look back at this day and age..
i can answer this question.
but for now, i am left to the inevitable
my actions now will affect my future
that i am certain of.
but as to what will become of me in the future
that i don't know
God's Will will always suffice