happiness and selfishness

and of course i don't have to tell the world of my worries
and that is a general rule
and so because of this,
i will make it clear and simple
i will not and never ever meddle in other people's business
why should i trouble my self with other people's concerns
i do not care whether what will happen to
whomever especially for those people who are not worthy to be cared of
to each his own
and so i begin today a new journey in my life
less clutter and less complexity
thanks for that someone who made it positively clear
that i for one should not be bothered by other people's petty concerns
for they too share the same sentiments as me
they don't give a damn shit of what happens to me
so i should offer them the same
this may be a reaction but know it makes complete sense
not to be bothered by them
i should only think of myself
yes, this shows selfishness but i too deserve to be selfish sometimes
i always sacrifice for other people, well i should limit this now to my family only
and for those not part of my family, well to hell with you and your problems
bon voyage and may God help you the way you helped me also
an eye for an eye

unintended eavesdropping on conversations

another thing that i hate doing
or i am forced to do
unintentionally eavesdropping on other people's conversations
is that my fault?
or is it the other persons fault?
i really don't like the position where i am in right now
i cannot do anything about it i guess
i have no where else to go that's for sure
one thing i'm not in Cebu anymore
this place is so foreign to me
i need to set my comfort zone here
where ever that may be
i have yet to find it
where ever it is right now
that i really can't answer any one straight
maybe i'll just play bigfish games haha hope this cures my boredom
btw, no work today since the building where my office is at,
received a bomb threat
every one was in a panic, that they said
but then again, hello
i was not able to get there since i did not get to ride a jeepney
i waited for like 30 minutes, maybe that was a sign that i should not have reached the building at all
someone up there is really looking out for me :)
thanks God! for the FYI in advance..
it saved me a lot of trouble though
i just spent the whole afternoon surfing the net and waiting for utorrent to finish downloading another movie
i haven't burned any of them on a dvd and my hard disk is getting full already
i guess i'm still used to the fact that Berting does all the burning and i do all the downloading and stuff..
division of labor..sorta
well familiarity hits me again and old habits die hard..
you just can't teach an old dog new tricks that easily..
13 more days to go and i'll be sleeping in my own room with a new bed but the same electric fan, that's a relief
i even miss my dvd/cassette player :( bummer huh?
total bummer that i should add..
well this has gone far enough than i intended it to
four posts for today! that's a record breaker isn't it?
not that anyone ever reads my blog anyway haha
well the heck i care if anyone reads it or not
i'm just using this as my online diary/journal for now :)
somewhere where i can air out all my feelings of anger and frustration and the rest..is as they say is history ;P

and i will announce to the whole wide world

that i am sick..
does the whole world really need to know how you are feeling?
or are you just that too starved for attention here?
go on and grab the whole limelight with the matching spotlight
the heck i care
i don't want to get involved in anything that involves you
and don't you just pretend that its ok to step on someone else's bed like that
as if you'd like someone to do that to your on bed!
grrr i am totally mad and furious
stand on your two feet you b*tc*

finale - personal space, security and privacy

this has been the 3 things that i miss having here
i miss the privacy of my own room where no one else can wake me up
i lack sleep always since people are already awake when it is still my sleeping time
i totally lack sleep here
i really don't like it when other people bother me with their own issues
i don't like to be part of other peoples' beeswax
i hate everything here except for the company that i am working for and the salary that i am receiving.
but if that's the only thing that i can look forward to, come to think of it,
it is really not that much
i am thinking of a change in the career path when i transfer to cebu
i want to be in public practice maybe a year or two and then transfer back again to the commerce and industry / private sector again..
there are many roads that will lead me to my destination,
it does not matter which road i will take, in the end
i will get to where i am supposed to be
and now everything sucks big time here
i end up with people i have to put up with every second of the day

kiss my disease ;P

I love this song..can't get enough of this.

The only thing I need kiss my disease
And make it all better
Clean me when I bleed justify me
Make words of my scattered letters

save me.

i am what i am

the best advice that i got was from my great grandmother
and she said "trust no one but yourself"
she added that i am very much like her..
i too have a strong personality and a hard worker
when i have a goal i plan everything that i do to reach it
no matter what it takes, no matter what i give up
if my heart is set on something, i abandon all ships and sail to
whatever or wherever my heart is
people will always misinterpret my intentions, my goals,
my hopes and my dreams
but i don't really need them to understand what i hope, i love and i plan to do
if i keep on fighting and struggling for others to know me then i know that path is futile.
i don't need to prove myself to anyone that is for sure
if i end up being alone, i really don't care
i will not betray or abandon myself just because i will not be accepted
i would rather face anything that comes in between what i want than
have a lot of regrets in my death bed
in life you can only do what you can
i can't waste my time pretending to care for others i don't really care for
i won't interfere with other people's lives anymore
call me tactless all you want but i know i can be the only honest person
when no one else will tell you the truth that sears your insides and tears your heart a part
there will come a time when you want someone to tell you the cold hard truth
and by that time i won't be there to answer you or even talk to you
i really don't care and for that matter, what friendship did you ever mean?
your not the only friend that i've got.
i have a lot of close friends, i would rather eliminate the weaker bonds of friendship that i have
in the end, i know that those weaker bonds were shredded and severed because in this world, "survival of the fittest" really is the key
i may not look like a strong person given my frail built and my femininity but far from that, which you do not know of, i have a heart that is burning with desire and passion to reach my every goal that is if God wills me to reach it
i will not take my life for granted just because people criticize me or even belittle me
it takes a lot to bring my spirits down
i may withdraw from the battle ground at times but when i do come back..it's as if i was never missing from the battle ground at all ;p
sa masuya lang. jealousy is a curse to all those who are insecure of me even though i don't try to be your competition i always end up as someone else's competition.
oh great, as if i wanted to be in your role anyway
i am just working my way in this world and finding my place
where i should end up and spend the rest of my days in :P

this one goes out to the one i love..

(Hikaru Utada) With Or Without You U2 Cover - The most popular videos are here

did you ever get that feeling when you know that no one is going to fill that space in you heart?
that you feel deep down inside who you are going to spend your days with..until your inevitable death?
that feeling is scary and wonderful at the same time
you feel happy because you know there is that someone who will be a constant witness in your journey called life, someone you know who will always be there, come rain or shine..
but then again, that feeling is scary once reality seeps in, the tabloids are filled with the kind of stories you don't ever want to hear which makes you fear commitment
or even flee from it.
i have learned that the things that scare you the most give you the greatest lessons in life and you should not escape from the things that scare but rather face them, head on, so as to really measure yourself and get to the bottom of things on why you are really scared of it..
i am talking vaguely again
i guess i just want to keep things as discreet as possible
i make plans and as much as i want all my plans to materialize, i know that there are certain things that i cannot foresee or those things that i have no control over.
the future is uncertain that CERTAINLY is true but i know for a fact that the present is also what it should be and where you are right now is exactly the place you should be..i don't know why i am in Makati, far away from my room where i feel as if no one can harm me, away from the love of my life(ayeee)
it is not easy standing on your on two feet again when you get used to the fact that someone is taking care of you..
here in Makati, i am the one taking care of myself, me and no one else
i miss having someone taking care of me..
i miss you..
and no matter how hard i try to accept that we are this far away,
i know that i still wont accept the idea of us being this far away for such a long time
i am going to find a way, to come back to Cebu and be as close to you as possible
the feeling of being so far away from the one that you love is so painful
i try so hard to push the feeling of missing you away or even hiding it from other people but at night, when every one is asleep and it's silent, i start thinking of you and the moments that we spent together, i want more moments like that,
we have been together for such a long time already and for me, i will never get tired or bored with you, although you make me mad at times, it's not enough to make me hate you or even break up with you.
i am not giving up on us.
i will never give up on us and that's a promise